Confessions of a Street Walker – part 19

It is possible that you have seen a rather peculiar woman walking around the streets of Hamilton over the last four years. If you have, I hope you gave a wave…because I am she.

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I promised to reveal the mystery of the yellow bowl. I will attempt to do so.

On my walk last week down the rural roads of the Stoney Creek Mountain, I stumbled upon something that I found very interesting. There, by the side of the road was a yellow bowl. A big yellow bowl. Just sitting there next to the road. 

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I confess that I often see interesting things by the side of the road and I will have to confess further that if they are interesting enough I will bring them home. Sometimes I will bring along a bag and will pick up litter but, for the most part, I bring home things that I can use.  

*Anita climbs up on a soapbox* by the way, litter is such a disappointing thing to see because it seems so careless of people not to take the effort to put things where they belong – be it the garbage or the recycling. *Anita steps down from soapbox*

I once found a vase and a spoon that matched my silverware set. I found a nice sharp blue knife (try walking around with a sharp knife and try not to look suspicious or dangerous). I have found money – I have found two five-dollar bills and a ten-dollar bill on three separate occasions. I found a $100.00 American dollar bill that was trying very hard to be real but proved to be fake. I enjoy running across interesting things.

So when I happened upon the yellow bowl I thought I should take it home with me. My mother has another yellow bowl story that I will have to write about someday … but on with this story.

I was on the way back to the car and was not going to have to walk very far with this bright bowl of yellow so I picked it up. Sometimes these finds make me wonder how they got there. It’s like a mystery. Who owned it? How did it get there? Why did they no longer require the item? Was it set out for garbage collection on a very windy day? Was someone walking with the bowl and decided they didn’t want it anymore, and they just left it there by the side of the road? Did it blow off of the yellow bowl truck on it’s way to the yellow bowl convention?

Either way, I now possessed a bright yellow bowl and since possession is 9/10th of the law (or so they say) I walked down the road trying to look like everyone walking down the road should be clutching their own yellow bowl. I got maybe another 100 feet or so down the road and there was another yellow bowl. Exactly like the first one but I would have had to walk down into the ditch to retrieve it and so I left it there for some other walker who was yellow bowl-less. So another mystery and even more questions. Were the first yellow bowl and the second yellow bowl part of a set? Were they stolen property? Are the police searching for yellow bowl thieves?

I walked on further and spotted a couple of beer cans. I was going to be returning a box of beer bottles for the refund later that week and decided I would get the nickel that each can was worth. So I picked up two beer cans and put them in the yellow bowl. Ha! I just earned a whole dime. I turned onto Mud Street and was getting closer to my car. I then spotted another beer can and decided I would pick that one up too. Bad idea.

I pick it up and put it in the yellow bowl.  I looked down and I was mortified to see that from out of the beer can that I had just picked up was flowing MILLIONS of ants…ok, probably not millions … but there sure were a lot of them. Many, very many, lots.

ants traveling in a row

Pouring out of the can, very fastly, they began to crawl up my arm. It was a good thing it was so hot and humid out because my sweaty arm slowed down the ants’ progression. I was sure they were going to try to crawl their way into my body through my ears and mouth and nose so they could eat me alive. I had watched Indiana Jones and the Crystal Skull. I knew how this was all going to end. Oh, the horror.

What happened next happened rather quickly. I flung that yellow bowl, rather mightily, up into the air and it fell to the ground and rolled towards the ditch. Also raining down were three beer cans and millions of rather shocked ants. At the same time, I commenced with a rather strange windmill walk (again) while trying to shake off, brush away and otherwise divest myself of teeny tiny crawly ants that were, I am sure, trying to kill me. All the while I was trying to pretend that I had nothing whatsoever to do with the yellow bowl that sat by the side of the road.

I made my way back to the car bowl-less, can-less and mostly ant-less. I suppose that I managed to create a mystery of my own. Just why would someone leave a yellow bowl by the side of the road? You just never know.

One thought on “Confessions of a Street Walker – part 19

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